Radical Transparency

Are you radically transparent? I'm not...generally. Until recently, I can't think of a single person in the world who knew everything about me. Ok, honestly, everything is a bit of a stretch, I suppose. Not too long ago I met someone with whom I've been able to be completely open. This person knows more about the many facets of Steve than, I dare to say, anyone else in the world. With this person, I am radically transparent. And you know what? It's freeing, not confining. It's nice to be completely open and honest about everything...no secrets, nothing hidden. I've learned some lessons from that which I intend to put to use in my daily life.

I have integrity with this person. My whole being is integrated. I don't have the work Steve, the home Steve, the church Steve, and the all-alone Steve with her. Yes, it's a her. Why? I don't know. She makes it easy. She gets me and it's easy to be honest and open. I don't think she's going to run away screaming. No, we're not romantic. Would I like to be? Maybe. I don't know for sure. Why? Because I'm not sure she's as open with me. Not true, I'm sure she's not. And that's ok. Just because I'm an open book doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be.

But it's a liberating feeling. Not having anything to hide. Will she break my heart? Probably. But that's ok too. I'm learning things in the meantime.

What I'm looking at right now

Trace Bundy on stage

What I'm looking at right now

Sungha Hung on stage.

What I'm looking at right now

The stage (alter) at Normal Heights United Methodist Church...waiting for Trace Bundy to take the stage.

For those playing along at home that read this post last week. This week is much the same...some of the reasons are different, some are the same. My head and my heart are still in turmoil and actively doing battle at times. Prayer still coveted.

Tomorrow night, I'll be seeing...

In person! Don't hate.

If you could read my mind...

For lack of anything vaguely original in my being, here is a repost that is strangely more apropos today than it was the day I wrote it:

One of my all time favorite songs by one of my favorite singer-songwriters of all time.



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I've had many of those "...the feeling's gone and I just can't get it back" moments in my life, and I always think of this song at those times.

I'm still looking for "a movie queen to play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me.

I've had the pleasure of seeing Gordon in person a few times. Some of my best memories are of Lightfoot concerts. I saw him, I think twice, at the Universal Amphitheatre back in the late 70's, and then again at the Greek Theatre in '90 and '94 I believe. I've put off seeing him for the last few years, but neither of us is getting any younger so if he makes another concert swing through this area, I'm going or I'll never forgive myself.

"...the ending's just too hard to take"