Quote of the day

No man, for any considerable amount of time, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the truth.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Men. The Forgotten Sex.

"At a time when women, with good reason, are asking men to make known their most guarded feelings, when we want them to love and raise babies and remember our birthdays, it is also required that they be the ones to rescue people in a burning building, and startle the dragons when they are heard in the dark."

Gloria Emerson Some American Men as quoted by Samuel Osherson in Wrestling with Love


I've been interested in "Men's Issues" for quite a few years. You see, I'm 50 years old. I remember when I thought 50 was old. I don't think so anymore. Hell, I'm in better shape now than I've been since I was in my late 20's. It isn't about age as much as it is about state of mind. Anyway, I digress..I do that...and pee...more as I get older. I'm 50, and I've been interested in "Men's Issues" for the better part of 20 years...or longer. And you know what? I haven't seen much progress.

Go to your local bookstore. Look for "Women's Issues" and you'll find a rack or two of books for the girls. Look for "Men's Issues" and you'll be damn lucky to find one shelf. Do we really think that women have more issues than men? Or do they just buy more books? Maybe that's it. Maybe we dudes don't confront the demons in a cerebral way, so nobody writes books for us. Well, damn it, I'm a reader, and when I want to find out about something, I want to read what someone wiser and more studied, with a college education, thinks about it. If they've got studies to back it up, even better!

Google "Men's Issues" and you'll get 32 million results...and I can't find a single relevant one. Granted, I haven't looked at all 32 million, but give me a break. If you're interested in how domestic violence or prostate cancer is a "Men's Issue", you'll have plenty of reading, but if you're interested in how to relate to your family, friends, significant other, wife, lover, or potential mate, good fing luck. And the websites that may actually have some good advice, or at least something that was written in the last decade are, well...terrible. Look at http://www.cyberparent.com/men/. Come on...I was creating better web pages than that with a 40 MEGAbyte hard drive and a 14k modem on Prodigy. Check http://www.menweb.org/. Again, there might be some good information there, but the interface is so early 90's, most men wouldn't even try.

Come on! Some one must have a life preserver to throw to us guys? I've read a couple good books over the years, and I keep going back to them because there's nothing new out there...John Lee's "The Flying Boy" was good...the first one was best but he milked that cow until it, as often happens with authors, dried up and quit giving milk long before he took his hand off the teat.

Sam Osherson wrote some really good stuff in "Wrestling with Love", but again, I couldn't find a lot to gnaw on in some of his other books. I went to his website just the other day...hoping for something...anything...that would be meaningful. Disappointed again.

Robert Bly's "Iron John"? Yeah buddy. Good stuff. But where's the follow up? Poetry?? Not what I need Bob. I need warriors, and knights, and swords, and dragons, and damsels in distress, and I need you to make it REAL. Give it every day, in the ditches, go to work, earn a living, keep the wife and kids happy MEANING.

I've lost my groove. Gotten off the track. I'll go read something that's 20 years old and try to apply it to the way I feel today. Or I'll just pick up the newest Mitch Rapp novel and read about fictional men.

Quote of the day

"At a time when women, with good reason, are asking men to make known their most guarded feelings, when we want them to love and raise babies and remember our birthdays, it is also required that they be the ones to rescue people in a burning building, and startle the dragons when they are heard in the dark."

Gloria Emerson Some American Men as quoted by
Samuel Osherson in Wrestling with Love

Quote of the day

This was resurrected as a result of another post:

"...I am forced to conclude that women's liberation didn't liberate anyone, except males. They were liberated from being gentlemen; from curbing their language and profanity; from never telling dirty jokes around ladies; from picking women up for dates on time, and in clean vehicles; from holding doors for them; from paying for dates; and, from accepting responsibility for the safety of the woman they were with until she was seen safely through her door. I don't know what freedoms the women got, except to tolerate this inexcusable behavior"
- John Giduck , "The Green Beret in You" pg. 66

Quote of the day

At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Musing on 50

I'm staring down the barrel of 50...just a shade over three weeks away. I don't know what to think. 50 seems old, but I don't feel old. Ok, some days I do. I don't recover (from anything) the way I used to. I sure as hell can't drink like I used to (which is a good thing.) I'm sure there's other things I can't do like I used to, but I don't remember what they are. Oh yeah, I can't remember things like I used to.

Somehow I feel like I should be in a different place than I am. I'd like to say that I've done all the things I wanted to, but then again, there'd be nothing left to do, right? I've been, done, and seen things that I've wanted to, but something eludes me...

I never thought I'd be single at 50. That might not be exactly true...I went through a phase where I thought I'd be single forever, and that may yet turn out to be the case...heck, I've got an 18 year run at it right now. But I don't want to be. Some of this refers to my earlier posts on being alone, I suppose. I don't know how to be alone. Never really wanted to, never have been. I've lived with someone my entire life. With each passing day, the thought of looking at the rest of my years single, and alone, is, while not frightening, certainly not appealing.

At this point, I must ask the readers not to chime in with something trite like "you are never alone". That would not be helpful.

I've lost my train of thought (didn't used to do that either)...so...to be continued.

(if I remember)

Memories

"Life is just a collection of memories.
And memories are like starlight:
they go on forever."

"Aurora Borealis"
C.W. McCall, Bill Fries