Radical Transparency

Are you radically transparent? I'm not...generally. Until recently, I can't think of a single person in the world who knew everything about me. Ok, honestly, everything is a bit of a stretch, I suppose. Not too long ago I met someone with whom I've been able to be completely open. This person knows more about the many facets of Steve than, I dare to say, anyone else in the world. With this person, I am radically transparent. And you know what? It's freeing, not confining. It's nice to be completely open and honest about everything...no secrets, nothing hidden. I've learned some lessons from that which I intend to put to use in my daily life.

I have integrity with this person. My whole being is integrated. I don't have the work Steve, the home Steve, the church Steve, and the all-alone Steve with her. Yes, it's a her. Why? I don't know. She makes it easy. She gets me and it's easy to be honest and open. I don't think she's going to run away screaming. No, we're not romantic. Would I like to be? Maybe. I don't know for sure. Why? Because I'm not sure she's as open with me. Not true, I'm sure she's not. And that's ok. Just because I'm an open book doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be.

But it's a liberating feeling. Not having anything to hide. Will she break my heart? Probably. But that's ok too. I'm learning things in the meantime.

What I'm looking at right now

Trace Bundy on stage

What I'm looking at right now

Sungha Hung on stage.

What I'm looking at right now

The stage (alter) at Normal Heights United Methodist Church...waiting for Trace Bundy to take the stage.

For those playing along at home that read this post last week. This week is much the same...some of the reasons are different, some are the same. My head and my heart are still in turmoil and actively doing battle at times. Prayer still coveted.

Tomorrow night, I'll be seeing...

In person! Don't hate.

If you could read my mind...

For lack of anything vaguely original in my being, here is a repost that is strangely more apropos today than it was the day I wrote it:

One of my all time favorite songs by one of my favorite singer-songwriters of all time.



(Facebook friends need to view original post to see the video)

I've had many of those "...the feeling's gone and I just can't get it back" moments in my life, and I always think of this song at those times.

I'm still looking for "a movie queen to play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me.

I've had the pleasure of seeing Gordon in person a few times. Some of my best memories are of Lightfoot concerts. I saw him, I think twice, at the Universal Amphitheatre back in the late 70's, and then again at the Greek Theatre in '90 and '94 I believe. I've put off seeing him for the last few years, but neither of us is getting any younger so if he makes another concert swing through this area, I'm going or I'll never forgive myself.

"...the ending's just too hard to take"

Quote of the day

"American law enforcement, and perhaps more importantly the American public, the legal system, and the news media, have got to get it through their heads that such situations [such as the Beslan school seige or the Nord-Ost theater incident] are not pedestrian level criminal episodes committed by the socially misunderstood, where less-than-lethal force should be used and a suspect afforded all his rights. [There will be] attacks on American soil and American citizens by enemy combatants. Rather than the least possible amount of force, the greatest force available must be brought to bear against them if the lives of the innocent are to be saved and deaths of the rescuers are to be prevented."
John Giduck - Terror at Beslan

What I'm looking at right now

Last one.

What I'm looking at right now

I told you there might be more than one.

What I'm looking at right now

A pint of Belgian White lager, just for me. Maybe the first of a few.

Day dreaming

From Blogger Slideshow

Sometimes you just have to make up s#*t to blog about. Today is one of those days. I find myself in a "tropical depression." I've had a s#*t storm of a week and my head and my heart is in turmoil. I find myself wanting to be somewhere warm, eating conch fresh out of the sea, looking at bright cerulean water and sky, and leaving the trouble and crap of this world behind.

I want my toes in the water, my ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand.

TOMMY - Quote of the day

by Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)


I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

What I'm looking at right now

Res ipsa loquitur.

What I'm looking at right now

Yes, it's a bar at a coffee shop (anyone surprised?) No, it's not Starbucks.

Quote of the day

"We come into this world naked, screaming, and covered in blood. If we're lucky, we'll go out the same way."

Quote of the day

"That's the thing with us co-dependents: We don't have relationships - we take hostages"
-John Lee
(Ran across this one in an old book while looking for another quote and it jumped out at me)

Quote of the day

Because I haven't posted a QOTD for awhile, but I don't have a new one, I'm going to reprint an old one from my old LiveJournal:

DISCLAIMER: The following quote is presented for entertainment value only and is not representative of the views of the blog owner. Or is it? :)

"Let you in on the big secret about chicks. It starts with intercourse...
"I like that start. Go on.
"But they universally possess the same prehistoric genetic memory. Doesn't matter where you find them - Miami, Budapest, the mountains of Peru, those remote islands off New Zealand where they just discovered a tribe that's never seen a wheel - the women are all hard-wired with the identical life drive.
"Which is?
"To change you.
"How?
"First, they set the hook with mind-bending kinky shit. Then a year later you're living in a Talking Heads song, dressed like Teddy Ruxpin, living with a strange woman in a big house full of frilly throw pillows, experiencing a frequency of sex that can only be charted by Halley's comet. And you're wondering: How did I get here?
"These ways they want to change us, are they for the better?
"Of course, but that's not the point"

Serge Storms in Tim Dorsey's "Nuclear Jellyfish"

What I was looking at a few hours ago

I stopped at one of my favorite places in the world tonight, Lookout Point, to watch the sunset and clear my head. I can't believe I didn't post this...must have cleared my head too much.