The song remains the same.

On this date, one year ago, I wrote this:

Broken relationships are like broken glass. Sometimes it's better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together.

~Author Unknown

You'd think I'd learn.

Quote of the day

"Until technology enables me to handcuff you from afar, I will need to arrest you face-to-face, man-to-man. This means that, when we fight, when I call upon those elements of the warrior within, I will be close enough to smell you, to touch you, to strike you, to cut you, to hear you, to plead with you, to wrestle with you, to shoot you, to handcuff you, to bleed on you and you on me, to tend your wounds, to hear your last words. Our meeting may be brief, but I will have had a more intense contact with you, my unwanted adversary, than with most of my loved ones."
Scott Mattison, Chief Deputy, Swift County Sheriff's Dept, Benson, MN. as quoted by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman in "On Combat"

Quote of the day

"His code in peacetime is the same as that in the military: do your duty, protect the weak, protect the community, face the bully,  stand tall, stay aware, think ahead, be ready, be loyal, avoid aggression if possible and, if not, win and win fully."
Justin Smith, as quoted by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman in "On Combat"

Quote of the day

There's nothing a man can do to protect his family from himself.
~ Tommy Lee Jones in The Missing

Wisdom from Gossip Girl

"Some stories open the door for something more. And then there are fairy tale endings where the girl gets her prince. And endings that turn you introspective about your own life and your place in the world. And then there's the ending that you saw coming from a mile away and somehow it still takes you by surprise."

Wisdom from Gossip Girl

"Maybe it's not blood bonds that make a family. Perhaps it's the people who know our secrets and love us anyway.  So we can finally be ourselves."

Warriors - Are you always prepared?

At the risk of repeating myself...I repeat myself. ‎

"If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today." ~ Lt. Col Dave Grossman

And the bad man does come felllows...and you never know when and where.

 

Quote of the day

You Need Change When Too Many Days Aren't Worthy of Being Your Last [Video]

Great Movie Quotes

"Everybody snap in, I'm about to open some fuckin' windows"

I don't even know....

So this guy walks up to to a woman in a bar and says, "Would you have sex with me for $100?"

She slaps his face and says "No"

He says, "How about a million?" She thinks a second and says "....maybe..."

He says, "How about $250?"

She says, "What do you think I am, a prostitute?"

He says, "We've already determined that you're a prostitute. We're just haggling over price."

The Lord speaks in mysterious ways...

Posted on my Facebook a few weeks ago, reprinted here for posterity (until Facebook gets tags for posts)...

"For my part, I refuse to hold decisions made in their youth against them, because I wouldn't want to be held in contempt for all the decisions made by me in my youth."
From "Seal Team Six" by Howard Wasdin

Quote of the day

An old favorite, from the movie "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton"

Angelica: Well is it love, big love, or great love?
Pete: What do you mean?
Angelica: Well, love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and great love, well great love... changes your life. So which one is it?
[Pete laughs and takes a big gulp out of his drink]
Angelica: Oh my god, it's great love.
Pete: Yeah, that's just great.

Quote of the day

No man, for any considerable amount of time, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the truth.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Men. The Forgotten Sex.

"At a time when women, with good reason, are asking men to make known their most guarded feelings, when we want them to love and raise babies and remember our birthdays, it is also required that they be the ones to rescue people in a burning building, and startle the dragons when they are heard in the dark."

Gloria Emerson Some American Men as quoted by Samuel Osherson in Wrestling with Love


I've been interested in "Men's Issues" for quite a few years. You see, I'm 50 years old. I remember when I thought 50 was old. I don't think so anymore. Hell, I'm in better shape now than I've been since I was in my late 20's. It isn't about age as much as it is about state of mind. Anyway, I digress..I do that...and pee...more as I get older. I'm 50, and I've been interested in "Men's Issues" for the better part of 20 years...or longer. And you know what? I haven't seen much progress.

Go to your local bookstore. Look for "Women's Issues" and you'll find a rack or two of books for the girls. Look for "Men's Issues" and you'll be damn lucky to find one shelf. Do we really think that women have more issues than men? Or do they just buy more books? Maybe that's it. Maybe we dudes don't confront the demons in a cerebral way, so nobody writes books for us. Well, damn it, I'm a reader, and when I want to find out about something, I want to read what someone wiser and more studied, with a college education, thinks about it. If they've got studies to back it up, even better!

Google "Men's Issues" and you'll get 32 million results...and I can't find a single relevant one. Granted, I haven't looked at all 32 million, but give me a break. If you're interested in how domestic violence or prostate cancer is a "Men's Issue", you'll have plenty of reading, but if you're interested in how to relate to your family, friends, significant other, wife, lover, or potential mate, good fing luck. And the websites that may actually have some good advice, or at least something that was written in the last decade are, well...terrible. Look at http://www.cyberparent.com/men/. Come on...I was creating better web pages than that with a 40 MEGAbyte hard drive and a 14k modem on Prodigy. Check http://www.menweb.org/. Again, there might be some good information there, but the interface is so early 90's, most men wouldn't even try.

Come on! Some one must have a life preserver to throw to us guys? I've read a couple good books over the years, and I keep going back to them because there's nothing new out there...John Lee's "The Flying Boy" was good...the first one was best but he milked that cow until it, as often happens with authors, dried up and quit giving milk long before he took his hand off the teat.

Sam Osherson wrote some really good stuff in "Wrestling with Love", but again, I couldn't find a lot to gnaw on in some of his other books. I went to his website just the other day...hoping for something...anything...that would be meaningful. Disappointed again.

Robert Bly's "Iron John"? Yeah buddy. Good stuff. But where's the follow up? Poetry?? Not what I need Bob. I need warriors, and knights, and swords, and dragons, and damsels in distress, and I need you to make it REAL. Give it every day, in the ditches, go to work, earn a living, keep the wife and kids happy MEANING.

I've lost my groove. Gotten off the track. I'll go read something that's 20 years old and try to apply it to the way I feel today. Or I'll just pick up the newest Mitch Rapp novel and read about fictional men.

Quote of the day

"At a time when women, with good reason, are asking men to make known their most guarded feelings, when we want them to love and raise babies and remember our birthdays, it is also required that they be the ones to rescue people in a burning building, and startle the dragons when they are heard in the dark."

Gloria Emerson Some American Men as quoted by
Samuel Osherson in Wrestling with Love

Quote of the day

This was resurrected as a result of another post:

"...I am forced to conclude that women's liberation didn't liberate anyone, except males. They were liberated from being gentlemen; from curbing their language and profanity; from never telling dirty jokes around ladies; from picking women up for dates on time, and in clean vehicles; from holding doors for them; from paying for dates; and, from accepting responsibility for the safety of the woman they were with until she was seen safely through her door. I don't know what freedoms the women got, except to tolerate this inexcusable behavior"
- John Giduck , "The Green Beret in You" pg. 66

Quote of the day

At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Musing on 50

I'm staring down the barrel of 50...just a shade over three weeks away. I don't know what to think. 50 seems old, but I don't feel old. Ok, some days I do. I don't recover (from anything) the way I used to. I sure as hell can't drink like I used to (which is a good thing.) I'm sure there's other things I can't do like I used to, but I don't remember what they are. Oh yeah, I can't remember things like I used to.

Somehow I feel like I should be in a different place than I am. I'd like to say that I've done all the things I wanted to, but then again, there'd be nothing left to do, right? I've been, done, and seen things that I've wanted to, but something eludes me...

I never thought I'd be single at 50. That might not be exactly true...I went through a phase where I thought I'd be single forever, and that may yet turn out to be the case...heck, I've got an 18 year run at it right now. But I don't want to be. Some of this refers to my earlier posts on being alone, I suppose. I don't know how to be alone. Never really wanted to, never have been. I've lived with someone my entire life. With each passing day, the thought of looking at the rest of my years single, and alone, is, while not frightening, certainly not appealing.

At this point, I must ask the readers not to chime in with something trite like "you are never alone". That would not be helpful.

I've lost my train of thought (didn't used to do that either)...so...to be continued.

(if I remember)

Memories

"Life is just a collection of memories.
And memories are like starlight:
they go on forever."

"Aurora Borealis"
C.W. McCall, Bill Fries

A Reminder to me...

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Quote of the day

"For years now I've lived with the fear that at some point everyone is going to leave, and I will be left alone. For no reason I can say, in no way I can prevent, I am going to wind up alone. I can't really explain why, but I know it's my fault. It lingers there, down under the surface, like a chronic backache or a low grade fever. But it colors everything I say and do; it shapes every relationship. I remain guarded, distant. I feel I ought to do more, be more. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I'm sick of it...

...and Jesus walked softly beside...

None of this was your fault

Now, you must understand, I didn't know that for all those years. I had believed it was my fault. I didn't think about it much at all. But down in the deep waters of my soul that conviction had settled, grown, like barnacles on a shipwreck, lies clinging to my heart. This all happened because my heart is bad; it's my fault. And down the Spirit went to speak the words to break those lies.

None of this was your fault

And something of my heart came free that night."

From Waking the Dead by John Eldredge

I'm waiting.

Listening to the gentle whisper...

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper."
I Kings 19: 11-12 (NLT)

Yesterday I was reading a book, the title of which will remain a mystery because it would start a whole new post. From that reading, I took three verses from the bible, wrote them down, and posted them on my desk:

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

In your anger, do not sin.
Ephesians 4:26

Let's just say that those particular passages spoke to me enough to write them down, because I saw at least two situations in my life right now where I need to remember and apply them.

But that wasn't the gentle whisper. The gentle whisper (although it's more like a sledgehammer that a gentle whisper, but you get the point) was this:

Today, during some down time, I remembered how I used to get a little daily devotional book titled Our Daily Bread that I would use to guide my quiet time, when I used to do my quiet time that is. Yes, that's another confession, and yes, I'm working on it.

So, I go to the internet and type in "Our Daily Bread" and find the website. There was today's devotional: "Talk Low, Talk Slow" which quoted James 1:19 and was right on the same point.

Ok, God....not exactly a still, small voice....not exactly a gentle whisper...but thank you. I get it. I'm listening. Now, my prayer is help me to remember it and apply it in the situations in my life that require it.

Quote of the day

"Ride her 'til she bucks ya or don't ride at all"

~ Kevin Costner in Tin Cup



image borrowed without permission from http://www.visionlightgallery.com/gallery/Bucking_Bronco_1_P8631C661.cfm

Quote of the day

"If you danced with the devil for a very good reason, have you not still danced with the devil? "
- Tom Clancy "Dead or Alive"

Quote of the day

An oldie, but a goodie. And seems quite appropriate this week, for myself and a couple people I know.

The Chinese farmer

There is a Chinese story of an old farmer who had an old horse for tilling his fields. One day the horse escaped into the hills and, when all the farmer's neighbours sympathised with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?'

A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbours congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?'

Then, when the farmer's son was attempted to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?'

Some weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg they let him off. Now was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

Quote of the day

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
~ Emo Phillips

Quote of the day

Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.

~ C.S. Lewis

Quote (extended) of the day

Spectrum of Love

There is a much greater motivation than simply my spoken words.

For me to love, is to commit myself, freely and without reservation. I am sincerely interested in your happiness and well being. Whatever your needs are, I will try to fulfill them and will bend in my values depending on the importance of your need. If you are lonely and need me, I will be there. If in that loneliness you need to talk, I will listen. If you need to listen, I will talk. If you need the strength of human touch, I will touch you. If you need to be held, I will hold you. I will lie naked in body with you if that be your need. If you need fulfillment of the flesh, I will give you that also, but only through my love.

I will try to be constant with you so that you will understand the core of my personality and from that understanding you can gain strength and security that I am acting as me. I may falter with my moods. I may project, at times, a strangeness that is alien to you which may bewilder or frighten you. There will be times when you question my motives. But because people are never constant and are as changeable as the seasons, I will try to build up within you a faith in my fundamental attitude and show you that my inconsistency is only for the moment and not a lasting part of me. I will show you love now. Each and every day, for each day is a lifetime. Every day we live, we learn more how to love. I will not defer my love nor neglect it, for if I wait until tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. It is like a cloud in the sky, passing by. They always do, you know!

If I give you kindness and understanding, then I will receive your faith. If I give hate and dishonesty, I will receive your distrust. If I give you fear and am afraid, you will become afraid and fear me. I will give to you what I need to receive.

The degree of love I give is determined by my own capability. My capability is determined by the environment of my past existence and my understanding of love, truth and God. My understanding is determined by my parents, friends, places I have lived and been. Each experience is fed into my mind from living.

I will give you as much love as I can. If you show me how to give more, then I will give more. I can only give as much as you need to receive or allow me to give. If you receive all I can give, then my love is endless and fulfilled. If you receive a portion (part) of my love, then I will give others the balance I am capable of giving. I must give all that I have, being what I am.

Love is universal. Love is the movement of life. I have loved a boy, a girl, my parents, art, nature. All things in life I find beautiful. No human being or society has the right to condemn any kind of love I feel or my way of expressing it, if I am sincere; sincerity being the honest realization of myself without hurt or pain for my life or any life my life touches.

I want to become a truly loving spirit. Let my words, if I must speak, become the restoration of your soul. But when speech is silent, does a man project the great depth of his sensitivity. When I touch you, or kiss you, or hold you, I am saying a thousand words.

Walter Rinder

Quote of the day

"I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

— Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)

Quote of the day

"I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all."

-Maj. General James N. Mattis, Commander USCENTCOM

After the invasion of Iraq - and after sending his tanks and artillery home - Mattis sent this message to the Iraqi leaders in every area his men served in. (wikiquote)