On Autumn, la troisième partie

Ah...Autumn...Fall...my least favorite time of the year. I've written about it before. You can go here to read those posts if you're so inclined. This season, which I so dislike, apparently makes me want to write more than just about anything else.

Wikipedia says this:

Autumn in poetry has often been associated with melancholy. The possibilities of summer are gone, and the chill of winter is on the horizon. Skies turn grey, and many people turn inward, both physically and mentally. (link)

Apparently then, I am not the only one.

The same article led me to the poem "Chanson d'automne"
("Autumn Song")

Les sanglots longs       The long sobs
Des violons                    Of the violins
De l’automne                 Of Autumn
Blessent mon cœur      Wound my heart
D’une langueur             With a monotonous
Monotone.                      Languor.

Tout suffocant              All choked
Et blême, quand           And pale, when
Sonne l'heure,              The hour chimes,
Je me souviens             I remember
Des jours anciens        Days of old
Et je pleure                    And I cry

Et je m'en vais               And I'm going
Au vent mauvais          On an ill wind
Qui m'emporte             That carries me
Deçà, delà,                    Here and there,
Pareil à la                      As if a
Feuille morte.               Dead leaf.

The poem has some interesting history behind it that you can read at the link above. It also inspired the French in the title.

This year, I believe I started to feel the melancholy even earlier. I'm not sure what day it was, but one day it just hit me that the shadows were longer and it set in. It didn't get colder, or more overcast....just that the shadows were longer as the sun crossed lower in the Southern sky. That's how we tell the onset of Autumn here at the 33rd parallel north. The leaves don't change, and it doesn't necessarily get colder, or wetter, or darker (at least right away)...but the shadows get longer. At least that's what always hits me first.

I've written previously about how the season makes me feel, so I won't write it again. This year the feelings started, then subsided a bit as I was busy with preparations for my 35 year high school reunion. That kept my mind occupied for a time. Then, all too soon, the preparations and the event were over. And it came back in full force and effect, if not multiplied. Not only was I dealing with the dreaded season that makes me feel older, but I had the reunion to help it along. Don't get me wrong...it was wonderful seeing everyone...catching up, chatting, rekindling old friendships...but now it was over and I was older. I honestly could barely get out of bed the next day...and I did nothing that day except sit in front of the television and watch mindless drivel. Ok, well, the truth is I was a bit hungover, but that was only a small part of it.

The next day, Monday, needing to get the hell out of the house, I got back on my (steel) horse and rode. I went with my brothers at the Patriot Guard Riders to pay respects to two veterans. Photos here and here. I warned the Ride Captain, a good friend named Joker, that I was about a half bubble off center and to keep on eye on me. He joked that if I was only half a bubble off, then I was better than he was and that I should watch out for him. The day made me feel both better, and worse. Nothing like attending two interments when you're already a bit down. But it was a good thing. It needed to be done, and I was better for having done it.

But when I got home, it set in again. Then a call from a high school friend that I had reconnected with at the reunion raised my spirits immensely, and I've been getting gradually better ever since. Tuesday I went in to work a day, which was perfect, then I rode for another veteran on Thursday and was honored to be asked to be a pall bearer and carry this hero on his final journey (photos)

Last night it started raining, for the first time in forever, and while I do like the rain, and the sound of it on the windows, the promise of life, I feared it making matters worse again. See, in my other posts, I've mentioned how I'm still single, and don't really want to be...well, that intensifies sometimes when it's raining at night. I don't need to explain further. Feel free to use your imagination. But it did not make matters worse. I enjoyed going to sleep to the sound. This morning, I woke up earlier than I wanted to, but shortly after that I was greeted with this:

 I didn't even notice the secondary rainbow
(about half way between the main rainbow and the upper right corner) until I opened the image to process it. 

...a reminder that there is always sunshine after the storm, that the long night does turn to day, and that God has made us promises that are ours to claim. The next thing, unexpected, is that my daughter and I got to spend some time with a special someone...

Again, reminding me that life goes on, good shit happens, and there is much to live for. I still wish there was someone here to throw on a jacket, sit on the back of my bike, wrap her arms around me, and go for a ride...but as a very dear friend told me: "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough".  Thanks for reading. I welcome your comments.