Quote of the day

"At a time when women, with good reason, are asking men to make known their most guarded feelings, when we want them to love and raise babies and remember our birthdays, it is also required that they be the ones to rescue people in a burning building, and startle the dragons when they are heard in the dark."

Gloria Emerson Some American Men as quoted by
Samuel Osherson in Wrestling with Love

Quote of the day

This was resurrected as a result of another post:

"...I am forced to conclude that women's liberation didn't liberate anyone, except males. They were liberated from being gentlemen; from curbing their language and profanity; from never telling dirty jokes around ladies; from picking women up for dates on time, and in clean vehicles; from holding doors for them; from paying for dates; and, from accepting responsibility for the safety of the woman they were with until she was seen safely through her door. I don't know what freedoms the women got, except to tolerate this inexcusable behavior"
- John Giduck , "The Green Beret in You" pg. 66

Quote of the day

At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Musing on 50

I'm staring down the barrel of 50...just a shade over three weeks away. I don't know what to think. 50 seems old, but I don't feel old. Ok, some days I do. I don't recover (from anything) the way I used to. I sure as hell can't drink like I used to (which is a good thing.) I'm sure there's other things I can't do like I used to, but I don't remember what they are. Oh yeah, I can't remember things like I used to.

Somehow I feel like I should be in a different place than I am. I'd like to say that I've done all the things I wanted to, but then again, there'd be nothing left to do, right? I've been, done, and seen things that I've wanted to, but something eludes me...

I never thought I'd be single at 50. That might not be exactly true...I went through a phase where I thought I'd be single forever, and that may yet turn out to be the case...heck, I've got an 18 year run at it right now. But I don't want to be. Some of this refers to my earlier posts on being alone, I suppose. I don't know how to be alone. Never really wanted to, never have been. I've lived with someone my entire life. With each passing day, the thought of looking at the rest of my years single, and alone, is, while not frightening, certainly not appealing.

At this point, I must ask the readers not to chime in with something trite like "you are never alone". That would not be helpful.

I've lost my train of thought (didn't used to do that either)...so...to be continued.

(if I remember)

Memories

"Life is just a collection of memories.
And memories are like starlight:
they go on forever."

"Aurora Borealis"
C.W. McCall, Bill Fries

A Reminder to me...

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Quote of the day

"For years now I've lived with the fear that at some point everyone is going to leave, and I will be left alone. For no reason I can say, in no way I can prevent, I am going to wind up alone. I can't really explain why, but I know it's my fault. It lingers there, down under the surface, like a chronic backache or a low grade fever. But it colors everything I say and do; it shapes every relationship. I remain guarded, distant. I feel I ought to do more, be more. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I'm sick of it...

...and Jesus walked softly beside...

None of this was your fault

Now, you must understand, I didn't know that for all those years. I had believed it was my fault. I didn't think about it much at all. But down in the deep waters of my soul that conviction had settled, grown, like barnacles on a shipwreck, lies clinging to my heart. This all happened because my heart is bad; it's my fault. And down the Spirit went to speak the words to break those lies.

None of this was your fault

And something of my heart came free that night."

From Waking the Dead by John Eldredge

I'm waiting.